Kristin Armstrong Shares the Significance of Radiating Love from Within

“Style isn’t about what we put on, it’s about what we radiate out.”

By Kristin Armstrong
Illustration by Kelly Colchin
Kristin Armstong’s Column: April 2022

Throughout history, across all continents, every era, every season and style, there is one thing that remains constant. It doesn’t matter if women are pale and curvaceous like the Renaissance, covered up in long skirts and bustling across dirt roads like the early settlers, or suntanned and skinny with feathered frosted hair, the true apex of a beautiful woman has always been, and always will be, a woman in love.

Why do you think that is?

A woman in love radiates.

She radiates confidence, passion, authenticity and joy. She knows her worth and communicates that to the world by treating herself and others with the highest respect. She is cherished and regards herself accordingly. She knows her beauty emanates from who she is at her core; her identity is intact. She is simultaneously strong and soft; her femininity is her superpower and she wields it with precision and grace. She is connected, first to her Source, then to her Self, then to others — so she can be intimate and autonomous in the same moment. She knows herself, and does not need anyone or anything in order to be complete, and she is comfortable asking for what she wants. She takes full responsibility for her own happiness and cultivates her own joy. She moves through life in a sphere of light; her luminous positivity creates a healthy, harmonious field all around her. Her realness is an invitation for others to remove their armor and show up. Her comfort with herself becomes a comfort to others. There is an ease about her — her way of being feels like fun and flow. She genuinely likes herself, so it’s easy for her to genuinely like others. She has no use for comparison, because she recognizes that her uniqueness is without question. She is at home in her body but not encumbered by it. She feels damn good, and as overflow, she looks damn good. She laughs, deeply and easily, especially at herself. She isn’t afraid to speak her truth; her value is not measured by what you think of her. Her heart is vast and wide open, she receives love as effortlessly as she shares it. Her presence literally changes the energy in a room.

A woman in love radiates.

A woman can be in love in more ways than just romantically, although romantic love is a particularly delectable and noticeable flavor of love. We can also be in love with life, passionate about adventure, our work, our family, our friends, our offering or a meaningful cause. We can be in love with nature, art, music, writing, reading, cooking, traveling, languages, meditation or physical movement. We can be spiritually in love, blissfully tuned into Alignment and Oneness. If you believe that what you focus on expands, or what you behold you become, then it makes sense that focusing on beauty and love makes you beautiful and loving. Have you ever noticed that after watching a gorgeous sunset, or walking through a forest, or spending time by the ocean or mountains, or witnessing art that sparks your awe like the architecture of a lofty cathedral, a gripping performance, a sublime passage of writing, or hearing a piece of music that gives you chills — you literally feel more open and beautiful? It’s real, you are more open and beautiful. You radiate, becoming what you beheld.

After many years of believing that love was disappointing, elusive or a struggle, I learned that I needed to expand my thinking. I broadened my palette to many flavors of love, and as I opened my aperture to allow for more light, my vision began to change and soon after, so did my view. I remember being a single mom with small children and feeling snarky about Valentine’s Day, like I wanted to opt out. I traveled with my kids to Santa Barbara to escape, and we went to my favorite divey seafood bar in the harbor for a casual Valentine’s dinner. There was a long wait, and suddenly two coveted seats at the bar opened up. The four of us sat, cheek to cheek across the two barstools, and had fish and chips, clam chowder, and baskets of hot sourdough bread with butter. An older woman sat next to us, clearly looking for someone and checking her watch, waiting on a date who evidently was not coming. She would occasionally look toward our rowdy party of four and smile a sad smile. The bartender quietly placed a glass of champagne in front of her, and they made eye contact. “On the house,” he said. I wanted to weep at his gentleness. For many years afterwards, anytime we went and ate at that bar, we would always call him Valentine.

The Universe used that moment to help me transcend what I thought I was lacking and open my eyes to all the love I already had. When I truly began to radiate, and express myself as the love that I am. I found more love, more beauty, more openness.

Style isn’t about what we put on, it’s about what we radiate out. Beauty isn’t about what we look like to the world, as much as it is about how we look at the world.

Behold and become. Become and behold.


Read More From the Style Issue | April 2022


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